Catching up with myself … organising … reflecting … planning … week 7 has already begun, week 6 was demanding, the days wanted more from me than I had, more than there was … the hiss gets louder … don’t listen … tune out … it plays in the background …
‘Where you are – the place we occupy, however briefly – has everything to do with what and who we are (and finally, that we are).’ – E. S Casey
I can’t believe I’m in week five of the residency, time is running so fast … where am I ! I’m dividing myself between several places at once, or rather immersing myself in several locations at once, immediately, now, this is not brief, but fully felt, fully experienced, though in a greater context it is but a moment, fleeting and fast … today I struggle to hear my recording, T is loud, even with the headphones on … I keep perspective, it is an experience but it isn’t who I am.
Acknowledging the bodies limitations / Loop !
Pushing oneself to the point of collapse isn’t conducive to a restful nervous system, there has to be a space, a time, an acknowledgement that stillness is required … one of the problems with the experience of Tinnitus is that down time is frequently interfered with, if the sound is consistent and loud even sleeping may not offer a period of rest … quietness and relaxation has to be found or experienced in new ways, a further shift in perspective has to take place and a deeper enquiry into who one is has to unfold … living with any condition on a long term basis means that there has to be a re-evaluation of self, self in relation to environment and other alters … at least this is my own personal experience of ‘T’.
What is Silence ?
Between the ‘this that is me space’ and this room the place outside of me … it is nowhere … where then can it be found ? can it be? is it so ?
I’m here getting organised, I know i’ll be here for the day … will quickly read through notes to catch up before writing … and then continue with the drawing …
Tintinn – what?
Chatting with Daniel (free space gallery director) and we decided i’d set up a blog for the residency ;
‘I want to call it tintinnabulation’
‘D’you think that’s a bit …’
‘Yes … d’you think that’s a bit longwinded … tintinnabulation.wordpress.com, it’s a bit long don’t you think!’
‘What does it …’
‘It’s a word that was coined by Edgar Allen Poe … used in a poem … with the line the tintinnabulation that so musically wells … it’s a bit long though isn’t it’
‘but I like it … it’s …’
‘I like it too … okay i’ll do it’
And so I did and here it is and it became even longer as wordpress decided I could have it but with the suffix 2017 attached … which is okay – I think … it’s certainly spans the distance between myself, Poe and the year (c.1848) of the words creation.
Hear the sledges with the bells -
What a world of merriment their melody foretells!
How they tinkle, tinkle, tinkle,
In the icy air of night!
While the stars that oversprinkle
All the heavens, seem to twinkle
With a crystalline delight;
Keeping time, time, time,
In a sort of Runic rhyme,
To the tintinnabulation that so musically wells
From the bells, bells, bells, bells,
Bells, bells, bells -
From the jingling and the tinkling of the bells.
Feet to the floor!
Bare foot and grounded … connecting to the space … internal temperature fluctuates as does the external … planning at the laptop with a cup of tea, I start the day by organising my thoughts, what am I going to do today, what is my overall time frame, being organised and staying focused will anchor me in, it’s still early days but time moves quickly … this thought makes me nervous !
Wednesday 27th Jan 2016 – It’s been almost a year since my first meeting about the residency, I remember a moment of consistently pestering google with various key words
artist + health + residency … artist+ health + residency + London … artist + health + residency + London + free … artist + health + residency + London + free + gallery … artist + health + residency + London + free + gallery + space …
A persistent barrage, a stream of numerous combinations, when up came
“Residencies – Free Space Gallery”